The Freedom to Be

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

 Why can’t we just get along? I have spent my life studying why people hurt each other. The little wars we wage against each other are sometimes as vicious as the larger wars which nations conduct. The suffering and pain in human relationships as we gossip, complain and disrespect one another is intense. We don’t often realize the hurtful effect we have on people we care about and get defensive if someone observes that we are less than kind. Something inside me whispers of what could be in this world. I know we can learn to love each other. A family that used to spurn me now considers me kin. My sister’s voice is happy when I call and she picks up the phone. This is a miracle. I have had relationships transform completely –but only when I had the courae to go into the lion’s den and took total responsibility for my errors. We want to live in peace but are not so eager to do the work required to create that peaceful life.

Why Do We Refuse Peace?

I am astonished, at times, at the degree of discord which exists in the lives of ordinary people, even those who say they want peace. Why do so many people hold on to their resentments and judgments that others are bad and unforgivable? I suspect this reluctance to heal one’s relationships has something to do with a need to be right about having been wronged. If we were to commit to putting all our relationships right we might have to give up parts of our identity. We might have to  share tender places within us and risk having these trampled on again. How much pain do we hold onto because we are unwilling to look deeper? We refuse to risk the true liberation from suffering such transformative inquiry brings.

To mend relationships of hatred and blame is to open up a whole new world. It is to feel, finally, at home in the world, to know the world as one’s playground. I have learned a few things about peace. If you are waiting for the other person to change and admit they were wrong, it probably won’t happen. You must dare to go first. We must be willing to be 100% responsible for creating a peaceful world. From there all things are possible.

 The Delight at the Heart of the World

There is wonder, delight and joy in the world that makes me swoon. Part of that joy is the beauty of the world itself. But the other part of the mystery of the world is the people who make it up. When we meet at the heart level, particularly when we have been enemies and hated each other, or when there has been terrible separation and then we see each other as simple human, an extraordinary thing happens. A connection that is sweet, beautiful and magical beyong words arises. This is love itself and it is where peace starts. This is my passion. It’s not a secret.