Letting Go of Enemy Making

Need for Enemies Keeps War in Place

Why do we love war so much? I have struggled to understand war most of my life.  If something  was so horrific you would think human beings would stop doing it, but we keep going back for more.

I keep returning to the issue of enemy for without an enemy wars would not take place at all. What is it about us that we have to have an enemy? Does this start with monsters under the bed in childhood? As we grow up  we divide the world into good guys and bad guys, the ones who are with us and against us. There is always the other, the group who is to be disdained because they are not like us.

Blame-Making Is Alive and Well in the Financial Crisis

This is a fascinating time in world history, with a total breakdown in the world’s financial markets and yet a slight pause in-between all-out wars, almost as if we are gathering our breath,  energies (and money) to fuel the next wars. And fuel them we will. Look around . The blame-making that is creating the enemies for the next major war(s) has already begun.

Attack and Counter-Attack Fuels Enemy-Making

We choose convenient targets,  people who have hurt us or  betrayed our trust. In the U.S. this translates into the barons of Wall Street, those who have accumulated huge amounts of money while the middle and lower classes have lost their retirement funds, their homes and their jobs in the current financial meltdown.  There has also been a scathing attack going on by the Republicans in Congress against the Stimulus bill proposed by President Obama.  For the past eight years we had an all-out attack on the previous Republican administration.  Attack, counter-attack.

We Lack Skills in Human Relationships

We call this politics and we act like this is business as usual. We certainly don’t call it enemy-making.  The problem is that this has gotten in the way of creating solutions to the huge financial mess we are in.  We don’t see other ways to lead our public lives than arguing and blame.  We can’t conceive of meeting the other as human being and joining with them to learn what their needs are, to see the world as they see it.   Whether  in domestic politics or in international relationships, we are sadly lacking in basic skills of human relationships.

Getting  Honest About What’s Really There

Were we more adept at acknowledging what’s so, we might be able to honor our fears , griefs and losses  in the present economic recession.  We might admit we want a father-figure to “figure it all out” and to “save us” and we don’t want that person to make any mistakes!  We would admit our embarrassment that we messed up so badly in the past. We could say that none of us knows how to fix the present mess.

And for the great mass of Americans who have lost so much financially, when we feel the urge to blame those others, we might remember that we share some responsibility in this. We charged up our credit cards, bought those SUV’s, bought those houses we couldn’t afford.

Create Life Without Enemies–It’s Possible

We might learn to listen to what’s really going on-inside ourselves and all around us, and then reach out across the chasms that divide us.  The next time our national leaders start talking about those terrible people out there or over there who are menacing us, people whom we might have to fight, stop and think.  Who are they as human beings? What might they want in life?  What if we just sat down and got to know them, talked to them about what they want in life?  We might find life richer, more interesting and rewarding than it ever was before.  Imagine—life without enemies.  It is altogether possible.

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