How Human Beings Work: and How We Cause Our Own Suffering

We Are More Alike Than We Are Different

Human beings are far more alike than we are different.  The differences between us are actually very minor. Human beings all over the world are overwhelmingly similar. We all share the same anatomy and physiology. Our brains operate the same way. We have the same triune brain, with a brain-stem that controls fundamental life processes like breathing ,a mid-brain which controls and regulates emotion and a cortex, the outer brain, which controls thinking and reasoning and is the seat of language.

We Make Up Stories to Explain Our Pain

Our one compelling drive is to survive and to reproduce. Language is what makes us different from every other species on the globe. It truly puts us in another realm. It gives us the capacity to think about and reflect on our experience and it gives us the ability to communicate with others like ourselves.  Language complicates things for human beings enormously. You might say it is the source of suffering. Animals may experience pain, but they do not interpret their experience of pain and thus they do not suffer as people do.  We make up a story about what our pain means to ourselves and others. If we did not do this we would have pain but we would not suffer.

We Try to Protect Ourselves from Future Pain

As children all human beings make a fundamental error over and over again:  something unpleasant happens to us and we don’t understand why it happened. We make up a story to explain why it happened to us.  Our story becomes the truth of what happened. The thought (language) gets mixed up with the its uncomfortable emotions. Suddenly we have an internal memory  loop of the event in our minds that says something like, “I never want this to happen again. I must protect myself”.  And these loops continue for the rest of our lives interfering with our ability to live free, full lives as adults.

We Become Prisoners of Our Language-Making Brains

We are prisoners of our machinery, the structures of our brains and our biological structure. We have let this structures run us for thousands of years, leading us ultimately to make war on our fellow human beings when we are cannot manage our feelings toward other people. We have failed to learn how to master the machinery of our brains and emotional make-up. We We have cut off our own personal power and effectiveness.  

Master the Machinery!

The good news is that options for learning to manage our emotions, to communicate effectively, and to reclaim abilities we have shut off, are widely available.  The following trainings are extraordinary in assisting human beings to transform themselves and their relationships to others:

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  • Landmark Education
  • Byron Katie and The Work
  • Neuro Linguistic Programming
  • The Compassionate Listening Project
  • Non-Violent Communication

If we truly want to create a future for this planet, it is absolutely critical that we learn to manage and master the mechanism we were born with.  It is possible for us to become  empowered, fully adult human beings who can play and create a in a garden of joy on this planet. We just have to want such a future badly enough. Or we can kill each other off.  Which would be more satisfying?

 Choose.