Two days after Election Day I awoke from a terrible nightmare.  A torturer had just cut off my legs and was forcing me to walk on the stubs of my legs. I woke up screaming.  Who was my torturer? Why this dream? Why now?

In August 2001 I experienced repeated waves of doom that something dreadful was coming. Suddenly, on the morning of September 11^th, I understood immediately what my nameless fear had portended.

Looking Closer at Price We Paid to Torture

President-elect Obama promised to close Guantanamo during his campaign. As his transition team is looking closely into this, it is clear it will not be easy to do. There are people at Guantanamo who have been tortured and cannot be tried in courts of law. There are also people there who are considered dangerous to the public. What to do with them? These are thorny issues. We can be grateful that Obama’s temperament is to move carefully in making decisions.

We, in the United States, are now going to have to look at the issue of torture far more thoroughly than we have up to now. So far all investigations into torture have only convicted front line military personnel. No one in command has been held accountable. Jane Mayer’s research reveals that the worst acts of  torture were carried out by CIA operatives and their actions were far worse than those of the military. It is clear that Donald Rumsfeld and the top brass of the CIA signed off on these actions.

Taking Pleasure in the Suffering of Others

That torture doesn’t work is well known. Relationship building with detainees is a far superior tool to produce information.  Torture is done by people who want to hurt other people. It is a way to take pleasure in the suffering of others. Current MRI research into bullying documents the fact that the brains of bullies light up when they see people suffering.  Take soldiers who have been sent into a war zone and who are being shot at by hostile forces.  When they take prisoners you can bet they will resort to cruel and inhumane treatment. This is brilliantly documented in the film Taxi to the Dark Side. (To be reviewed here 11/21/08).

The Hidden Costs of Practicing Torture

What kind of people do we become when we torture other human beings?  When we are deliberately cruel, what do we create in the world?  People who have been treated cruelly as prisoners never forget it. If they weren’t terrorists before their experience they certainly may be later.

Our military who go to places like Afghanistan and Iraq to serve their country suffer a moral dissonance when they are asked to do things to other human beings that clearly are against the values they were raised with and which, they can see clearly, are unnecessary to defend the homeland.  A sickness of heart results. It is not surprising that so many returning veterans come home with PTSD, and why so many end up killing themselves.

There is also a huge human cost to those CIA operatives who carried out the worst tortures over the past seven years.  How many of them are now drinking themselves to death? How many will suicide after what they have done?

Turning to Face the Enemy

I know who the torturer in my dream was. My torturer was me, because I created my dream. As a country we have also created a torturer and it is us,  we ourselves.  We cannot label terrorists as evil without inquiring into and accepting responsibility for our own evil. Unless we understand the fierceness of our opponents’ rage and despair we face never-ending terror.  If we fail to do this, the days of peace for ourselves and future generations will recede ever further into the mists.

Other related PBD blogs on this topic:

Book Review: The Dark Side by Jane Mayer

Other Resources:

Torture  Wikipedia article

Standford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Article on torture.

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During the past decade, diplomatic efforts have sadly failed to produce satisfactory results needed to solve numerous international challenges. In the Bush administration, a popular theme to international problem solving has been the so-called “Carrot and Stick” approach. Perhaps overly reliant on this approach, the US has been too quick to use its stick: employing armed force, sanctions and political isolation.

Zero-sum diplomacy always amplifies the likelihood of violence. The US policy has been, in plain language, “If you do not do as we say you will be punished”. This approach is based on coercion and control and, to put it bluntly, bullying. 

Taking Responsibility for Harm Done in the Past 

It is necessary to eliminate past-based or pre-existing resentment before countries in conflict can demonstrate the essential willingness to negotiate and cooperate. Taking responsibility for harm done or “cleaning the slate” accomplishes what the blame game is terminally unable to: working together constructively.

Big Egos and Self-Righteousness Rampant in Political Circles

A leader who does not demonstrate a true willingness to develop skills that will build relationships rather than break them, is not leading in the direction of peace and cooperation. Egos and self-righteousness tend to run rampant in political circles.

Governments Must Engage in Self-Scrutiny

For governments that are habitually in conflict, it is urgent that they take a far closer look at their policies and actions and stop looking at their bi-lateral relations through filters of victim and victimizer.  In depth self-scrutiny universally reveals that we all victimize ourselves. Too few see this and it is a grave source of misery for mankind.We need to get beyond focusing on the misconduct of other governments in past and present terms. We need to look at ourselves with far greater honesty.

As breakdowns in relating and communicating always spiral into antagonism, it is important for all foreign policymakers to recognize that they must re-think their policies and actions before our international relationships become unsalvageable.

Win-Lose Strategies are Unworkable

Win-lose strategies are a myth. They don’t exist. In the long run they always end up with lose-lose results. Humanity can only survive when the strategy is based on a win-win philosophy. Egos, ideologies, bi-lateral competition and partisan politics have no place when so many are suffering and so many of us have everything to lose.  

Government Leaders Need Transformational Communication Skills

For diplomacy to be far more effective than it is, those formulating and executing foreign policies need to learn the skill of relating to and communicating with people whose interests are very different than their own. This may include people who are angry, frustrated and upset with the US. An extraordinarily useful tool to aid US leaders, particularly in the executive branch and in the State Department, would be for them to participate in powerful transformational communication programs that are readily available today worldwide.

The Future is at Stake-We Must Learn to Communicate!

Hundreds of thousands of individuals as well as corporations have benefited tremendously from such programs. These programs have the remarkable ability to elicit our limitless potential to relate, communicate and solve seemingly insurmountable people problems. Such short yet potent programs are widely available through private educational companies within the human potential movement. We must urge our government officials to participate in these breakthrough programs. The issues at stake are far too numerous and globally life threatening. Much is at stake for too many and time is not on our side. While wars write history books, only moments of effective communication write legacies, build great leaders and great nations, brick by brick.

You can reach Arnie and Alex at the website of the Organization for International Cooperation: www.oicworldpeace.org

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The winds of change are whirling ever faster on our shrinking planet. If we could grasp why so many people around the world are caught up in deadly conflicts with each other, ones which cost so much suffering to so many, would we want to know that? I spent a week in intensive study in Boulder, Colorado recently, sponsored by Spiral Dynamics Integral with the primary exponent of the Spiral Dynamics theory, Don Beck.

The Missing Piece for Peacemakers?
On of the main challenges for peacemakers is that we tend to apply one size fits all solutions. If you bad people (terrorists or bad governments, take your pick) would just stop your violent ways, the rest of us could live in peace. . . It’s never that simple! The world is much more complex than that and so are human beings. While there is much to be grateful for in the gifts many peacemakers have brought to the table I have long had a sense that a critical piece was missing. Spiral Dynamics may be this missing piece.

Cultures, and Humans, Evolve in Stages
Based on the work of the late professor Clare Graves (d. 1986), his work has been popularized and extended by Don Beck since his death. Graves’ hypothesis was that human cultures developed and evolved over time in distinct stages. These stages were a response to conditions in surrounding environments.  

vMemes= Embedded Value Systems    

Graves hypothesized that humans developed v-memes, akin to human DNA, structures so deep they govern thinking, behaviors, beliefs, and systems. They are deeply embedded value systems in human groups. As such they:
1. Manifest core intelligences that impact human behaviors.
2. Impact all life choices.
3. Have healthy and unhealthy aspects.
4. Determine how people think, not the content of what they think.
5. Can intensify or recede as life conditions change.

First Applications of v-Memes to Societal Conflict in South Africa
Graves was Don Beck’s mentor. In the early 80’s Beck made his first trip to South Africa and began consulting to that country as it struggled to emerge from apartheid. He made sixty trips there and used Spiral Dynamics interventions to prevent overt violence.

Color-Coding and the Spiral make Theory more Accessible
Beck added the metaphor of the spiral to Graves’ original structure. Humans are evolving in complexity and as they evolve and move through the stages of this system, they transcend and include each previous stage of the structure. Beck’s also added color coding to the v-memes as follows:

1. Beige: Survivalistic, based on loose bands. Theme: “Do what you must to stay alive.”
2. Purple: Magical, based on tribal structures. Theme: “Keep the spirits happy and the tribe safe.”
3. Red: Impulisive, egocentric, based on empire. Theme: Be what you are and do what you want, regardless.
4. Blue: Purposeful, based on rules and order and pyramidal structures. Theme: “Life has meaning and direction with predetermined outcomes.”
5. Orange: Strive/drive, achievist, strategic thinking. Theme: “Act in your own self-interest, play the game to win.”
6. Green: Egalitarian, humanitarian. Theme: “Seek caring dimensions of community.”

Possible Applications of Spiral Dynamics to Building Peace?

                                                                                                       
Human beings all over the globe are at all these stages of development right now. There is nothing wrong with any group being where they are! Yet, the majority of conflicts and violence are between people at different memes. This schema is an incredible advance in helping us to selectively choose appropriate interventions for where people are on the spiral of development.
Consider how people at different places on the spiral might regard the word peace itself:
Beige=We stay alive
Purple=We are safe
Red=I rule (or our empire rules)
Blue=We have order
Orange=I thrive
Green=We are equal.

Clearly we have a lot to think about! We shall be writing about Spiral Dynamics again on Peace By Design. Meanwhile, you may learn more about Spiral Dynamics by visiting them on the web at:
www.spiraldynamics.net and www.humanemergence.org

If you have thoughts about this blog, leave us a comment.  We are eager to engage with you about this or any blog!

Jubilation, Tears and Thanksgiving

Barack Obama’s victory in the presidential race on Tuesday night was a time of jubilation, tears and thanksgiving that I will never forget. One of my most indelible teenage memories is of watching civil rights demonstrators being sprayed by fire hoses while my father screamed, “Get those niggers!”  To see this man elected President was the fulfillment of a dream for me and for so many others.                           

Tsunami of New Energy Released

The eruption of dancing, and joy on the faces of people all over this country and around the world was utterly remarkable. People saw a possible new future for themselves, for their children and future generations.  A wave of energy was released, which some have compared to a tsunami.  It is absolutely vital that this energy is not allowed to dissipate.

Problems too Complex to Leave All Up to Government

The problems we face now are far too large and too complex. We cannot leave handling all these problems -from the financial crisis, education, health care, energy, transportation,- to the federal and state governments.  If we leave these policy decisions to Congress the lobbyists will descend on Washington once more and the money machine will start all over again. Then all hope for change will go out the window. We must take advantage of this energy and empower ourselves.

Ordinary People Must Involve Themselves in Government Routinely

It is time for democracy to shift from being about voting to direct engagement in government by ordinary people.  What I am suggesting is that ordinary people participate in studying and recommending action to state and federal governments by serving on policy councils on energy, health, education, transportation, infrastructure, finance and other critical issues.   Such volunteer councils could be convened at every level (local, county, state) and would be composed of people from the entire political spectrum.  They would be trained in how to listen and talk respectfully to each other.  Issues would be studied and the very best ideas and recommendations would be passed up to the federal level.

Set Up Policy Councils at Every Level to Recommend Wise Action

The findings of the councils in every state would be collected and put together.  Congress would know pretty quickly what the public thinks and wants. This would obviate the need for the Congress and even the Executive level to do such tremendous research.  This should help make for a leaner, less bloated government.

In Our Urban Society People Need to Encounter The “Other”

The most critical reason for increasing involvement of citizens in government however, has more to do with our changing world and how people live now. In an increasingly urban society where many of us do not even know our neighbors, social life is becoming increasingly fragmented. Many of us tend to associate only with those who are “like us”. We join churches and clubs where people hold the same beliefs and values that we do.

Growing the Democracy of the Twenty First Century

 We want to be comfortable. We avoid interaction with those who differ from us, especially on political questions.  So when it comes to a bitterly contested election, no wonder we treat each other like enemies.  We don’t even know how to talk with each other!  If Americans were to routinely become politically engaged as part of ordinary civic life, they would meet and work with people espousing very different l viewpoints on a frequent basis.  The ability to solve problems, across differences, while treating each other with respect will only grow our democracy.

What do you think? Let us know. Please comment on this blog.

For years it was in sex and I thought
This was the most of it

so brief
a moment
or two of transport out of oneself
or
in music which lasted longer and filled me
with the exquisite wrenching agony
of the blues
and now it is equally
transitory and obscure as I sit in my broken
chair that cats have shredded
by the stove on a winter night with wind and snow
howling outside and I imagine the whole world at peace
at peace
and everyone comfortable and warm
the great pain assuaged
a moment
of the most shining and singular gratification.

Dear friends;
On this election day I offer this simple poem to you with its prayer for the quiet joy of what peace could look like and feel like between people, were we to let it come. Savor the thought. Whoever wins the election today, please support them and send them your blessings and prayers.

We, here at Peace By Design, will be taking a hiatus in publication for a while. We are exhausted after months of intense effort and need to rest and restore our energy. We will be back soon. Look for us! Thank you for your loyal readership.

                                                                                                                                                                           
“A mosaic is a conversation between what is broken.”

Mosaic as Metaphor
Terry Tempest Williams, in this piercing book, weaves the metaphors of brokenness and beauty into a work of astonishing power. After 911, Terry Tempest Williams, whose subject is usually the natural world, sought for a word to anchor her sense of fragmentation. The word that came to her was “mosaic” and this led to a study of mosaics. Art works fashioned from broken bits of tile, stone and glass, mosaics can, at their finest be wondrous works of light and line.

Making the Broken Whole
Williams began a journey which took her to Ravenna, Italy to study mosaic making, then to the Western plains to study the habitat of the threatened prairie dog, and finally to Rwanda to assist in the construction of a memorial to survivors of the 1994 genocide. In all these experiences Williams traces the theme of brokenness, making beauty from sharp and jagged pieces, events or experiences.

 Up Close with Threatened Prairie Dogs in Utah
In a central part of the book Williams shares her intense experience studying prairie dogs in Utah. Seen as rodents by many in the west, these small mammals live in burrows and mounds. As many as 200 other species are associated with the prairie dog for their existence and way of life. Yet they are killed for sport.

Prairie dogs rely on their exquisite abilities to scan the environment for danger for their continued survival. Williams paints an unforgettable picture of how these “prayer dogs” come out of their holes at dawn and stand in silence with hands folded facing the dawn. Similarly at eventide they face the setting sun reverently, like monks, and then retire for the night.

Wounds of Rwanda Eleven Years After the Genocide

In 2005 Williams traveled to Rwanda with Chinese American artist Lily Yeh, to help build a memorial to those killed in the genocide in the survivors’ village of Rugerero. Against the background of poverty, malaria, AIDS, hunger, and chronic erosion of the soil in Rwanda, the survivors attempt to get on with life, moving like ghosts with hollow stares and amputated limbs. The fear and paranoia still present there is palpable in Williams words, especially in the scenes of a local “Gacaca”, a restorative justice attempt to deal with some of the backlog of “genocidaires” who are clogging up the International Court tribunal system.

Genocide Memorial Brings New Life and Inspiration
The memorial Lily Yeh designed, which was built by the people of Rugerero included a pavilion to house the bones of the dead surrounded by mosaic covered undulating walls, brought the entire community together and inspired and renewed them. Children painted the cinder block houses in vivid colors and covered them with pictures of animals and plants. New life came to a place of the living dead.

 Finding Beauty in Brokenness
Terry Tempest Williams asks penetrating questions of all of us as she knits these varied landscapes together: Who benefits from the erosion of land and the loss of habitat? Why do the women of Rwanda do the hard work while the men sit by idly? How can the wounds of war and habitat fragmentation be arrested and made whole?

My only criticism of this book is I wish it had been more tightly edited, especially in the prairie dog section.  Nevertheless it is a  powerful and beautiful book, especially for anyone interested in creating a more loving and workable world.

Questions:

1. Do you believe that environmental degradation has any connection to issues of peace and human harmony? If so, what is the connection?

2. How can people heal from a devastating trauma such as the genocide in Rwanda? What is the role of art? What about other forms of healing and repair? What should come first?

The nastiness of the current political campaign is the worst in living memory. It has felt to me, at moments, that the nation is coming unglued . I have been disturbed at the rage and hatred expressed by people on all sides of this election. My concern is not with who wins, because whoever wins, we will cope with it. My concern is rather that we will not deal with the fear and the rage that is underlying this animosity.

Polarizing Cultural Changes Swept Through U.S. in Past Forty Years

Huge cultural changes swept through the United States in the last forty years or so, changes which just happened. Many people had no ability to consent to or refuse these social changes. The nature of American life changed radically during the 1960’s and 1970’s, disrupting life as they had known it for some parts of the population.  These changes have been well described by Dick Meyer in his interesing new book, Why We Hate Us: American Discontent in the New Millenium. This tug and pull is a natural part of life, and it constitutes the ebb and flow of life as cultures evolve but it is never easy. And so, in almost every election I can remember, large numbers of people were left angry and resentful afterwards and carried that bitterness through to the next election cycle.

New President Takes Office in Midst of Financial Crisis and Uncertainty

The difference with this election is the new leader of the U.S. is being elected in the middle of one of the worst financial crises that the world has ever seen. When people are terrified for their financial survival some become desperate and a few may lose control and act out in violent ways. Violence can spread in crowds. Ideologues and demagogues easily take over when people are uncertain and afraid.   

Bringing the American Nation Together Is Critical

This is why it is vital, for whichever candidate is elected to work hard to bring the entire electorate together after the election. This is not a time for gloating or for shoving anything down anyone’s throat. This is a time for building bridges and helping people learn how to talk with each other. I did not say talk at each other , lecture each other or argue about who was right or who was wrong.

President Must Set the Example By Reaching Out to the Other Side

People need to learn how to talk with each other, to listen deeply to each other and to see the human being behind the words. The newly elected President and Vice-President should take the lead and set an example for this by reaching out to the politicians who opposed them and to those in Congress with whom they will have to work .

Learning to Talk with the Other is Challenging but Rewarding

One of the most difficult things for human beings to do is to reach out to those whom they designate as “other”. In this case the other is those who hold very different political views and who voted for a different candidate. We want to chastise these people. We want to be righteous. To treat someone on the opposing side as a human being and inquire into their yearnings goes against the grain. Perhaps their dreams are as valid as our own. These are hard skills to learn but they can be acquired with practice.

Let Us Begin Now
The times are urgent and the stakes are high. We don’t have any time to waste. Let’s start now –or at the very least, on the morning of November 5th.

Resources for learning to listen and communicate with those different from us:

1. The Compassionate Listening Project

2. Non-Violent Communication

3. Landmark Education: Communication Courses

4. Conversation Cafes.

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 The question is why was the American psyche so readily open to make the connection between the words “peace” and “defeat,” and why have we not been able to overcome it since then?

Grandstanding on the Election Trail

For the last thirty years our presidential candidates have loathed identifying themselves as peace makers in their campaigns for fear of being perceived weak and too soft.  They employ a multitude of strategies to discuss our foreign policy challenges but they never discuss peace negotiations as possible options with our adversaries.  They encourage other nations towards peace and push a few more towards negotiations, but they hold the line when it comes to our own nation making peace with those we are in conflict with. 

Candidates Insist We Are Tough, Not Weak

The candidates go to great lengths to express their toughness as leaders and “commanders in chief;” any language of conciliation is deemed too soft and weak. It can spell disaster in the opinion polls.  They are hemmed  in from all directions and forced to remind us over and over again that they are not afraid to use our military might;  they will use the big stick because we are tough and no one should mess with us; it smacks with teen age harangues on the playgrounds.

Bullying is Acceptable in Foreign Affairs

Such diatribes underscore our fundamental confusion with our image as a peace making nation.  We have become accustomed to the idea that bullying is an acceptable behavior for our foreign policy affairs.  Not only have we come to accept that our presidents carry a big stick on the world stage, but that it is perfectly normal to use it whenever and however they see fit … as long as our lifestyle and consumer slumber is not disturbed. 

Peace Challenges Our Simplistic Ideas About the World

As a people, we have unknowingly and in a deep way come to accept that peace is not only weak but it is also messy and it challenges the simplistic answers we have come to view the world with.  As individuals this notion may not be true for most of us, but as a collective we have slipped into a dangerous trance.  Our presidents become peace makers on the world stage after they are out of office; only then do we grant them permission to discuss peace making with our adversaries without negative repercussions; we heartily applaud them if they choose to assume such a role.

Individualism Gone Awry Negates Community

So what is it that keeps us invested in this position as a nation?  Do we blame Mr. Nixon, our politicians, our appetite for consumerism?  I believe the issue is rooted in the founding history of the American culture; it is individualism gone awry.  America was built by the best and highest values of individualism, but individualism in its extreme negates community; it is selfish and self centered and sees little value in a cooperative, unitive view of the world. 

Adolescent Nation Needs to Grow Up

Peace requires all the above and more; it requires humility and a sense of equality with our neighbors.  It requires a national stance that says we are part of the world and the tribe of humanity rather than separate and different from it.  It requires grace and maturity instead of an adolescent need to be separate in order to be special.  Individualism gone awry is an adolescent developmental stage that America has struggled to give up since WWII.  We won that war and with it gained maturity as a nation, but somehow we keep reverting to our adolescence.  Perhaps it is time we grow up and embody the maturity we so dearly paid for.

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In his 1968 run for the White House Richard Nixon declared himself as “the peace candidate” and the American people, disgusted and confused by the Vietnam War, ascended him to the Presidency primarily on that promise. History proved however that his declarations as being “the peace candidate” during that election were a cynical ploy to win; he actually had intended to “bomb the hell out of them” and force the North Vietnamese into surrender.

“Peace with Honor”

Five years later in 1973, and after a brutal bombardment campaign failed to break the will of the Vietcong, Mr. Nixon began to talk about “Peace with honor.” Saigon was about to fall and the president was looking for ways to acknowledge the failure of American interventionism in South East Asia. Nixon however, could not bring himself to use words such as failure, defeat, settlement or anything else that acknowledged the reality of the situation. Had his approval rating been higher or had he been a more self assured five star general and war hero like his previous boss, Dwight Eisenhower, he may have been confident enough to admit the realities to the American people.

Peace Linked with Failure

“Peace with Honor” were the words Richard Nixon used to describe the goal of the negotiations with North Vietnam in 1973. Mr. Nixon’s misuse of the word peace in his election campaign, and his subsequent manipulation of it as he tried to extricate us from Vietnam, devalued its power and virtue in our minds. The tragedy in using the word “peace” in the context of ending the war with Vietnam, was that the negotiations with the North Vietnamese were actually negotiations for military retreat and disengagement rather than creating a co-operative and peaceful relationship. The relationship with Vietnam was not normalized until 1995. Peace was linked with failure.

Loss of Honor Conflated with Peace in the American Psyche

In the context of a military retreat, Mr. Nixon calculated that the word “peace” did not carry with it enough virtue. He needed to add another virtue to give it weight - “honor”. But the president’s considerations did not take into account that the concept of peace is a deeply held universal drive for humanity. It has spiritual and deeply rooted existential origins within the species. Honor however, is an ego-based virtue. It is personal and  not inclusive, born out of a need to be more than humble and more than equal.

Protecting Our Pride

The problem with this virtue upon virtue exercise was that it created confusion in the American psyche. Peace by itself was no longer enough. It had to be attached to something else in order to protect our pride. A new subconscious connection was created in the psyche of the American people that equated the word “peace” with the absence of victory, i.e. “failure”. Thus began our uneasy and confusing relationship with one of the most psychologically powerful aspirations of humanity.

The question is why was the American psyche so readily open to make the connection between the words “peace” and “defeat” and why have we not been able to overcome it since then?

Part 2 of this blog will be published on Friday, October 24th. Look for it!

Deep Listening Begins in the Fire of Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

Q: Leah, please give us an idea of how The Compassionate Listening Project got started.

L: I started leading citizen delegations to Israel and Palestine in 1990.   I had been looking for a way to bring something positive to this conflict when I found the writings of Gene Knudsen Hoffman, whose teacher was Thich Nhat Hahn.  He challenged peacemakers to stay connected to people on all sides of a conflict. Our new approach was so successful that Israelis and Palestinians asked us to teach them what we were doing. We crafted a curriculum for Compassionate Listening and then people here asked us to show them what we were doing in the Middle East. So the work in the Middle East has always been like a learning laboratory for us.

Humanity at a Growth Edge with Conflict

Q: What is it about Compassionate Listening that touches you so deeply?

L: Human evolution at this time is linked to our ability to deal with conflict. People everywhere are grappling with how to transcend the old patterns of blame and victimization. It’s a lifelong process and it’s about awakening.  Every time we judge or make it about the other the other it’s an opportunity to practice.  How can we live from our hearts and create peace on this earth? What a gift that I get to focus on these things for my work! 

Lasting Impacts of a Simple Process 

Q: As you look back over the past 18 years, what do you feel most proud of?

L: I’ve just been reading journals from participants in our German-Jewish reconciliation project. The Holocaust  has been over for 60 years,but the pain has been passed down through generations. The healing that I witnessed in this project was some of the most profound I’ve ever seen.   We saw that the Germans are in fact, carrying more pain than the Jews and I saw that being on the perpetrator side is much harder on the psyche. These younger ones were beating themselves up and they had nothing to do with it. The Jews ended up at times encouraging the Germans to find forgiveness for their nation.

And without a doubt our work has made an impact in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. There are many peace leaders there who have taken our training and who have incorporated Compassionate Listening into their own work.

An Ever-Evolving Process

Q: What are the challenges Compassionate Listening is facing now?

One of my passions is deepening the process. I think it’s important to convey to people the depth of this practice, that this is hard work. We are born with a highly developed ego in the west.  We judge ourselves harshly. If we don’t clean it up with ourselves, there is no way we are going to mend this universe. There is no way I am going to take responsibility for how I am creating war with my neighbor or my friend if I’m not realizing how I create war within myself.

The Longing for Heart to Heart Connection is Vast

Q: Any thoughts you have about Compassionate Listening and the future?

There is such a hunger for heart-based ways of being in the world that people are longing for. I think it’s true even for those whom we might least expect it.  This deep longing is calling forth many practices for human transformation.

Have a thought about this interview? An experience with Compassionate Listening or another communication modality? Write to us and let us know your thoughts.