Disaster Opens the World’s Heart As I write, the world is pouring out its heart to the survivors of the Haiti earthquake.  I watch, stunned at the magnitude of the devastation and awed by the magnitude of the generosity this tragedy has elicited. Something about natural disasters brings out the best in people. Perhaps this is because we would want others to treat us with compassion were we the ones in desperate need. Having worked with people closely as a psychiatric nurse for the past forty years, I have come to know one thing:  human beings want to be known.  We want to be seen and treated with compassion.  This is why giving to Haiti is so important and why it was so important during Katrina, and during the Tsunami of 2004 and other disasters.  But what is not often appreciated is that humans want to be known and seen during conflict, and when they are in deep turmoil. We Cannot See the Other as Human During Conflict We seem to forget this during conflict. Perhaps it has to do with the stormy emotions roiling around inside of us: rage, hatred, revenge.  In the midst of conflict our opponent, who may have been a friend before now becomes an enemy.  He or she becomes other.  Their humanity is gone.  This is true as well of people we have decided we don’t like, those who hold different political, religious or social viewpoints from our own.

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A Terrible Love of War by James Hillman. The Penguin Press: New York. 2004. The Profound and Terrible Love of War This is one of the most unsettling and important books I have read in a long time.  The book begins with a scene from the movie Patton where Patton walks among a field of burnt tanks and dead men, kisses a dying officer and says, “I love it. God help me I do love it so. I love it more than my life.”  Hillman declares if we would grasp how men could actually love war, it must first be understood.

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Army of Shadows. (aka Armee des Ombres.) Directed and Written by Jean Pierre Melville. Based on a novel by Joseph Kessel. Cast: Lino Ventura, Simone Signoret, Paul Meurisse, Jean Pierre Cassel, Claude Masure and Paul Crauchet. (1969) Grim Film Is a True Masterpiece Jean Pierre Melville’s film about the relationships of a small group of leaders of the French Resistance during World War II was finally released in this country in 2006.  It has been acclaimed as a masterpiece and deservedly so. It is grim, dark and extremely hard to watch.   It is one of the most important films I have ever seen and it has much to teach us about how we humans act when engaged in collective violence.

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Great Op-Ed NYT piece Opens New Ground for Diplomacy A groundbreaking op-ed piece “How Words Could End a War” by Scott Atran and Jeremy Ginges” appeared in the New York Times last week.  For years  I have observed how geo-politicians ignore the way human beings think, feel and behave in the real world.  It’s no wonder that diplomats and political leaders fail to achieve permanent peace. Research Into Moral Values Under I/P Conflict Atran and Ginges’ article, based on some fascinating academic research, validates for the first time that both sides in the Israeli-Palestinian conflict are more concerned with deep moral values than they are with accepting compromises based on self-interest.  They note that:  “Diplomats hope that peace and concrete progress on material and quality-of-life matters . . . will eventually make people forget the more heartfelt issues.

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Lies of the Mind are Universal Lies of the mind are universal. When a group shares a thinking error it becomes part of the national narrative and is often unchallenged. People who engage in behaviors that support the lie believe they are good, upstanding citizens. Only when the thinking and its behaviors, is repeatedly questioned, does the house of cards collapse. Heyday of Bombing in WW II The idea that one could wipe out one’s enemies probably started in World War II with the heavy bombing of German cities and the use of the nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The unbelievable destructiveness of this bombing resulted in the unconditional surrender of both Germany and Japan.

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Believing that Armed Violence Will Make a Difference The killing continues and the rage and helpless grief goes on while the world watches. So many people have died that should not have died—a thousand by now—and so many are maimed and burned. There must be a better way! Yet still we cling to the crazy belief that this time armed violence will make a difference. Insanity, they say, is doing the same thing over and over, each time hoping for different results. .

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Out of Turmoil Some Clarity Emerges I have been in a turmoil about the Israeli incursion into Gaza, struggling with every emotion from rage to grief.  Likewise, I have been struggling with the actions of Hamas, endangering the lives of its own people, and the role of the U.S. government and its unquestioning  support for the state of Israel.  I have finally found some clarity on this subject.  Today is the first of a two part series.   Today the focus is on Israel.  The next blog will focus on the Palestinians and the U.S. What’s Right in Israel’s Approach It’s often said that “You can’t negotiate with terrorists.”  When people are terrified no one can make rational decisions.  Israelis are tough people but they have an underlying historical narrative of fear, based on thousands of years of persecution, which renders them acutely sensitive to threat.  If the lives of the populace are being menaced it is the role of government to protect its people, and they must take action.  Israel  determined it had to take action against the rockets coming in from Gaza fired on them by Hamas.                                                                                                        What’s Missing in Israel’s Approach Terrorists must be stopped, just as anyone committing out of control violence must be stopped. I have written about this in other blogs about the stopping function.  The problem Israel has run into with their intervention in Gaza, and in prior actions with the Palestinians,  is that they have not thought through the long-term implications of their actions nor made them part of a strategy for successfully ending the conflict with the Palestinians.  It is not enough just to stop terrorist action, because that stopping is always temporary.

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 The Unfulfilled Longing for Peace I invite you to take a journey with me today.  I want to explore the experience of completion and how this phenomenon could be applied to war. The longing for peace is so deep in human beings and yet, despite ourselves, we revert to armed conflict again and again to try to solve problems with others.  Our cherished visions of peace recede and never seem to come to pass.   Why is peace so seemingly impossible to achieve? What gets in the way?  The Experience of Completion Recently I was reviewing relationships in my life that have healed after long discord.  I call this state of being at peace with someone being complete.  When I am complete a quiet space opens.   After a time I find myself creating a new way of being with that person I disliked before.  It amazes me.  I use the word complete in a special way here.  When I look at a particular relationship or conflict,  I ask myself if there is anything left to say.  Do I still want to argue, defend, criticize, mourn, condemn?  If I feel at peace, I know I am complete. I once heard this described as having “no wood left to burn.” Fascination with the Holocaust is Never Over Over the holidays many new movies appeared with Holocaust themes.  Filmmakers apparently love to mine the Holocaust, especially when Oscar season is coming.  It is as if this last good war and its horrors is still alive, even though it ended sixty years ago.  Many people also see echoes of that war in the endless cycling of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. What if We Chose to Get Complete with the WWII?

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 Why Israel Feels  So Threatened In a powerful Op-Ed piece in the NYT Benny Morris, does a wonderful job of describing the vulnerability and fear that Israelis feel in their 60 year old state.   Morris’s article helped me to own up to my arrogance in the blog I wrote about Israel’s victimization. I Was Arrogant  Toward Israel In My Last Blog I indulged in talking down to the state of Israel.  In truth, I am yearning desperately for the killing on both sides to stop.   I directed my remarks to Israel, rather than to Hamas, because I see Israelis as having more capacity to effect change in this situation. These opponents are not evenly matched.  The majority of Palestinians in Gaza are starving.  Perhaps I underestimate the power of Hamas to make rational choices in the current circumstances.  I-P Conflict is About Human Needs and Feelings The key word in Morris’s column is feels.  Israel has the 5th largest Army in the world.  Two peoples are fighting over feelings and perceptions. These needs are so important to Jews and Palestinians they are willing to die for them, and yet they are so passionate they are unable to communicate the depth of their importance to the other side with any coherence.                                                                                                     Stories About Meaning of Trauma Fuel Violence Both peoples hold themselves as victims.  Both were hurt by traumas in the past. Those hurts are held in several ways: physical wounds, emotional experiences, but most importantly, in interpretations (i.e.

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 Assault on Hamas in Gaza Kills Hundreds                                                                                                                                                                                                     It is with a mixture of grief, love and rage that I watch the assault by Israel on Hamas in Gaza which has taken upwards of 350 lives. I am a lover of Israel who has bent over backwards to accept and to understand as Israelis struggle to defend themselves from terrorist attacks.  The Victim Has Become a Bully   Imagine a parent whose child repeatedly gets beaten up by bullies. The parent counsels his/her child to face his bullies. The child takes the parent’s advice and learns to fight his aggressor.  Only he learns his lesson too well. One day after one too many complaints from the school and the police, the parent discovers that his child has become the town bully.  He has to have that “tough love” talk he never dreamed of having: “My son, you have become a bully. Yes, people are hurting you but you stronger than the other kids.

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