Beyond Blame: Transcending the Victim/Perpetrator Dynamic in the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

 Why Israel Feels Threatened

In a powerful Op-Ed piece in the NYT, Benny Morris does a wonderful job of describing the vulnerability and fear that Israelis feel in their 60 year old state.   Morris’s article helped me to own up to my arrogance in the blog I wrote about Israel’s victimization.

Recognizing My Own Arrogance Towards Israel

I indulged in talking down to the state of Israel like a child.  In truth, I am yearning desperately for the killing on both sides to stop.   I directed my remarks to Israel, rather than to Hamas, because I see Israelis as having more capacity to effect change in this situation. These opponents are not evenly matched.  The majority of Palestinians in Gaza are starving!  Perhaps I underestimate the power of Hamas to make rational choices in the current circumstances. 

A Fight Over Human Feelings and Needs

The key word in Morris’s column is feels.  Israel has the 5^th largest Army in the world.  Two peoples are fighting over feelings and perceptions. These needs are so important to Jews and Palestinians they are willing to die for them, and yet they are so passionate they are unable to communicate the depth of their importance to the other side with any coherence.

Interpretations of What the Trauma Meant Fuels Violence

Both peoples hold themselves as victims.  Both were hurt by traumas in the past. Those hurts are held in several ways: physical wounds, emotional experiences, but most importantly, in interpretations (i.e. stories) of what these traumas meant.  As these stories are repeated over and over again, each people feels powerless and victimized. When they cannot stand the powerlessness anymore, they fight to defend themselves.  As so often happens, when former victims learn to fight, they easily go overboard and become bullies.  This is a universal phenomenon.

True Power Means Letting Go the Victim/Perpetrator Dynamic

 A perpetrator is a victim in disguise and is not powerful.  A truly powerful person (or country) is someone who has transcended the victim/perpetrator dynamic.  He/she no longer needs to use force to get what he/she wants or needs. These people use the power of their words  to make things happen.

Letting Go of the Stories and the Blame

Those mired in this dialectic get caught up in an endless blaming.  This is characteristic of the I-P conflict where commentators cite facts favorable to their side and criticize the other.  Rational arguments never work because this is a conflict rooted in human wounding .  The injuries need to be heard and honored. The only way out is to recognize how the interpretations of the past are affecting the present and to change those stories.

Taking Responsibility Brings Freedom

Victimization means “someone did this to me”. One is always waiting for redress that never comes.  Perpetration tries to force the other into correcting the injustice.  Violence just causes more injury and the cycle continues.   The only effective solution is to take on responsibility for all of it.  Taking this action means absolute freedom.

It does not mean that one caused everything in the past. It means that one assumes responsibility for everything that happened.  It is an incredibly powerful position to take. It completely circumvents the powerlessness of both victim and perpetrator positions.   One may not be the cause of violence that happened in the past, but they can take on responsibility for the interpretations they made up about what that violence meant.

Responsibility Allows Creativity, Innovation and Flexibility

Taking on 100% responsibility would open up for both the Israelis and the Palestinians, the possibility of responding to their difficult circumstances with innovation and creativity.  It could give them a new flexibility, and the ability to take actions fully in alignment with Judaic and Muslim law, the deepest values illuminating these ancient peoples, their lives and their lands.

Resources:

Creation of a new story for Israel and Palestine: http://www.israelpalestineproject.org/

Learning about stories, made-up meanings and taking responsibility: www.landmarkeducation.com

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